Thursday, January 15, 2009

My Reflection on Daytime Television

On Tuesday, I caught a nasty 24 hour flu bug and was couchridden for the day. I came to a conclusion: daytime television consists of 3 things--Snuggies, ShamWOW's, and Amish Fireplaces.

These horrendous infomercials are so bad you just can't tear your eyes away. The Snuggie (which I thought was already invented in the blanket and the sweatshirt) is simply a blanket with sleeves. The commercial shows a happy family cheering at a baseball game, each one wearing a snuggie. Let's be honest. This family looks ridiculous. In a different scene, there's an older woman who is trying to reach for the remote but would have to take her hand from underneath the blanket to do so. This causes her terrible angst. Unspeakable discomfort. Like it is so cold outside that blanket, her arm will instantly freeze and be rendered useless. Plus, these things make you look like a Buddhist monk. Really. The Snuggie is proof that people will buy anything.

Let's move on to the shamWOW. Does anyone else think this guy looks like an ex-crack addict? We were talking about the shamWOW at work, and one of my coworkers bought one at a Walgreens in their "As Seen on TV" section just to test it. The thing doesn't work. ShamDISAPPOINTMENT.

And finally, the Amish fireplaces. Everyone knows the Amish are master woodworkers and builders. These fireplaces are supposedly crafted by the Amish. This is all fine. But in the last shot of the infomercial, there is a buggy with two fireplaces in the back. The announcer declares that they are of limited availability because "they can only ship two at a time!" Like they are going to box them up and deliver them to you in a horse and buggy. Best part: they are officially called "Heat Surge Amish Built Electric Fireplace." Perrrrfect.